How We Value Ourselves and Others

This conversation came up while my husband and I were talking about how we go about valuing people, places and things. It began with our wonderful postal delivery service.

It was at the beginning of the new year and we had to put in a note to our USPS delivery guy. I wrote that somehow our mail was not getting to me and I was taking a professional training class and paid for my booklet to be delivered and never got it. I even bought it twice.

This wonderful person wrote the kindest letter back to me, not only with an apology that he was on leave to tend to his ailing mother, but truly enjoyed being our delivery person and had been on this route for many years.

The dialog between someone we really do not interact with on a daily basis, yet, important to our every day business via mail really highlighted my respect, high regard and value to him. Especially his kind-hearted response and care for us and his work ethic. Perhaps the way I wrote the note for him, illustrated the way I valued our needs and expressed concern for missing mail.

Another situation was presented that was opposite of this situation and the same question is applied as to what was happening in my valuing and the way they responded to me in a particular situation.

While taking a specialized training program, I noticed this business owner/educator who was paid for all their training, asked many students to volunteer their time for many projects, including a form of a guidebook. As a business owner, educator and publisher, I had noticed this organization may need to hire more people due to a lack of responses, grading, and support for my class in particular. There were only 2 people on staff for all these programs, events, conferences, etc. I even mentioned if a company is growing it is a good sign, but only asking for volunteers can be its own problem. I mentioned these are the first tasks people need to let go of over life priorities such as full time jobs, children and other life circumstances. I shared this with 5 years of experience working in an international organization that was run completely by volunteers.

What was quite stunning to me was the owner's regard toward these volunteers. She expressed contempt for someone trying their best while taking time away from their other priorities to help. Her valuing of them was less than a paper towel to throw away. This business person claimed she is so let down by them not completing what they started. With an understanding of what you want and then valuing why they were unable to complete what they truly wanted to do, was highly understandable. I am the person who received the reasons why they could not fulfill their obligation.

I am one with 5+ years of volunteering and 4 years of over-seeing other volunteers and always valued them by my words and actions. I thanked them for their gracious time. Cards, letters and emails were sent and I expressed how and why I valued them, even if they were not able to complete a task.

In coming full circle to this topic on valuing, the picture above has a very interesting two-way point of view. If someone is mirroring back your worth to you, are you asking yourself the question, what am I demonstrating here? As mentioned with the USPS delivery fellow, we had a wonderful valued exchange. Conversely, what was this specialized training situation mirroring back as an image of not valuing volunteers?

It is good to ask yourself these questions, not to put or place any blame, or say who is right or wrong, yet, it is more of how are you valuing yourself? What is your self-worth?

I hope this Blog offers you a moment to ponder how you value yourself and others.